A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.
- Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- I haven’t slept for ten days . . . because that would be too long.
- If I could say a few words, I’d be a better public speaker.
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don’t know I’m using blanks.
- She looks as though she’s been poured into her clothes, and forgot to say ‘when’.
- I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening . . . but this wasn’t it.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.